Finding Joy (or cupcakes!)

I really love this picture.

As a Life Coach one of my principle aims is to help clients find their joy (again!). It is always there, but sometimes with the challenges we go through during our every day lives, we lose that connection; we forget how to feel joyous. It doesn't have to be big things, or huge goals that bring you joy. It can be very simple things.

Here are some things that brought me joy today:

i) waking up and finding a beautiful blue sky and only the sound of birdsong.
ii) laughing with, and loving my husband
iii) making the continued decision to only watch TV, or read books that make me feel good
iv)the bliss of silence (away from the madding crowd)
v) connecting with friends (worldwide) via telephone, letter writing and some of my favourite forums
vi)decadent cheesecake, and eating it without feeling guilty.

What brought you joy today?

What Quote Best Sums You Up?

"Some women have a weakness for shoes................I can go barefoot if necessary. I have a weakness for books" Oprah

I really LOVE this quote. If you ask my friends and family they are likely to say this quote best sums me up (altho' best don't ask my husband about the weakness for shoes which he might add is also a problem!). Needless to say I will do anything to get hold of a book I want to read ( and I mean anything!)

What quote best sums you up?

I'm Back!!!!!

Dear friends
I can't believe I have been away from my blog for SOOOOOO long!

What happened? Despite the picture to the left, I have not been sunning myself on some deserted island. In fact I have been working my pretty little socks off! I am exhausted; sometimes finding myself in the surreal situation of coaching at 3am to accomodate clients the other side of the globe.

It's incredible to say but the recession has had an amazing effect on my coaching business, which in effect has left me little or no time to blog. Basically, the recession has proved to be a catalyst for people to re-assess their lives, and to think about what they really want to do. It's ironic really because it's also a time when most companies are looking to make cut-backs, and usually the first thing to go is training and coaching. However, in the world of personal coaching, this is not happening. I've had a whole heap of new clients who fall into distinct categories:

i) those who are completely stressed out at work and who are being pushed to the limits in their roles/positions.Consequently this has led them to realise just how much they hate what they are doing, and so have decided to invest in themselves now whilst they have the resources.

ii) those who have been made redundant and are using this time to really start following some of the ideas they used to doodle about when they were sitting at their desk on a cold, winter's Monday morning, contemplating yet another week in a job they absolutely detested (but which paid the bills).

iii) those that have suddenly realised that despite what their parents told them, there is no job for life, there is no such thing as a "safe" job, and that job security is not the be all and end all. Some of these clients quite like what they do, but have come to the realisation (through various events in their life) that life really is too short to keep counting the days to the next weekend or next holiday, and have decided to take the bull by the horns NOW and follow their bliss.

All I have been able to say to all my clients is "Bring it on!!!!" I am just thrilled to work with these clients who are really taking responsibility for their lives. It's really easy to sit back and say "It's impossible to make changes now as we are in a recession" (how many times have I heard that also?). But I say, now is perhaps one of the best times to take stock of what is working, and what is not working in your life, and start making those small changes that will not only recession-proof your life, but also get you through the tunnel into the light, quicker than most.

Do you fall into any of these categories.............I bet you do!

Who said anything about being perfect?

Dear God

“Help me not to be a perfectionist (did I spell that correctly?)”
“Help me to relax about insignificant details, beginning tomorrow at 7:41:23 am”
“Help me to not try to run everything….but, if you need some help, please feel free to ask me…..”

Mmmm, sound like someone?

Where exactly have we got the message that we need to be perfect? Where was that written down, because I can’t for the life of me seem to remember ever seeing it anywhere. And yet, we all try to be perfect.

Well I don’t know about you, but I’ve decided to give up striving for perfection and have decided that EXCELLENCE is a better objective.

When we aim for perfection in everything, I think, we are unconsciously setting ourselves up for certain failure. After all there’s only ONE way to be perfect in any particulr endeavour and SO many ways (an infinite number of ways) to be less than perfect. For example:

*What does it take to ruin a perfect day? Just one little 15-seconds of unpleasantness

*What does it take to ruin the perfect “significant other?” Just one little annoying habit

But excellence takes into acount our “imperfections”.

Subsequently, it also becomes extremely liberating to stop demanding that everyone else be perfect too (and believe me THEY also feel liberated!)

I discovered that my own urge to be perfect was a need to CONTROL everything and everyone. But we don’t have to control the creative process. In fact, we can’t!!! We just have to get what we really do want clear in our minds and proceed from there, through the rest of the process. Now instead of thinking about being “better than” or “the best at…”, I just aim at being really good at what I am doing. It now feels right, and it gives me a LOT to reach for, because there’s definetely a “gap” there to relax into. But now, this objective doesn’t beat me over the head every time I make a little mistake….and it keeps me from beating other people over the head when they make mstiakes too!

Hmmm, maybe you would like to resign your position from the Perfection Police.
I mean think about. People who call themselves perfectionists are really IMperfectionists. They are always looking for what’s wrong, not what’s right.


So my prescription: Expect excellence from yourself in a way that motivates and inspires you, but don’t set yourself up to fail at being perfect every minute.

Try Smiling!!

OK, so here's the deal.
Your level of self-esteem limits (or adds to) your ability to move through life with pizzazz, zest and confidence. It also determines your probability of attracting the sort of life-mate you desire, business or work success and almost every aspect of your life.

There are many ways to raise your slef-esteem, but one really simple way that you can try immediately is to get a smile on your face. You know, a really genuine smile; the kind that creates all crinkles around your eyes.Because a genuine smile actually lights up the natural optimism centre of the brain. And if you can (where appropriate) greet others with a smile, and look them straight in the eye as you do so.

Recent scientific research clearly established that just "acting" self-confident will MAKE you more self-confident. But here's the catch. You MUST believe in what you are doing and really feel it; not just go through the motions on automatic pilot.Consequently if you act as if you are the person you wish to be, guess what happens? You will eventually BECOME that person.

Don't believe me? Just "suck it and see"!!!!

Just try it-it works!!!.

A few years ago when I was in dire need of some encouragement, positivity etc. You know, those downhill cycles where nothing is going right, and you feel completely at the end of your tether. I tried wracking my brains for ways that I could help myself, and then one day the perfect solution just fell into my lap. Now you may be one of these people who believes I was just lucky this solution fell into my lap. However, I am a great believer in the Universe and it’s synchronicity. So for me it really was like a message from “above” and I felt I must give this ago.

So what fell into my proverbial lap? It was a magazine article by Oprah talking about how for decades now she has been writing in a Gratitude Journal. Now, if there is one woman I really admire, then she is it. So how could I ignore this artcicle? What she wrote about seemed like a fantastic idea. Every night before she goes to bed, she writes down in a journal everything she is grateful for that day……nothing else. It is not a journal to write down your thoughts, the days events or fears and emotions. It’s simply only for gratitude.

So of course, I bought myself a really lush journal (because I feel if it looks and feels beautiful, I will want to write in it). And I started writing each night before going to bed, the things I was grateful for that day. I am ashamed to say that at the beginning, when I started this 3 years ago, I was struggling to fill one page. Why? Because I was looking for all the BIG things that happened, which is the totally wrong way to go about this exercise. However, over time I started to thank the Universe for very simple things such as fresh water every day, a beautiful sunset that I might have seen, a wonderful lunch out with my husband, listening to the sound of the waves crashing on the beach etc etc. It was only when I was writing about the simple things that I started to feel incredible; really uplifted and positive. Of course, when you are focusing all your energy on the positive things in your life, and not the negative as we are more prone to do, your positive energy and enthusiasm automatically increases, and then what happens? You start to attract more of the same happy and positive situations, which in turn creates more of the same happy and positive feelings……..(can you see where this is going?) The best thing is you constantly have to search for new things you are grateful for. You can only write down “family, health etc” for so many days.

So my friends try it. I defy anyone to not feel different after doing this exercise for as little as 1 week. I would also love to hear how your perception of “your” world started to change as your positive energy increased.

Happy journaling!!!!

My two new friends!

I would just like to say a special "hi" to my two new friends who I have met through blogging; Jeanette and Holly.
Both of these writers have blogs all about the wonderful world of the Law of Attraction (LoA). There are lots and lots of blogs about this topic, but these have to be two of the best I have ever come across (and I have been interested in the LoA for years now).
Jeanette's blog-Law of Attraction Playground is the first I came across. As a LoA Coach she is clearly an expert in this area and yet her blogs are really down-to-earth and realistic. Some of her tips and advice for attracting/manifesting what we want in our lives has proved invaluable to me.

If on the other hand you find the whole concept of the LoA all a bit "woo-woo", then you have to read
Holly's blog- Holly's Law of Attraction Adventure . It is really quite hilarious, and really gives a comedic spin on what can be quite a difficult metaphysical topic. Her writings are hilarious and I think you will gain so much from both blogs.
That's the great things about blogs. I've made some many friends across the globe; people whose paths I would most probably never have crossed, and yet through the wonders of blogging we can share stories, ideas and friendships.
How fantastic is that!