Friday Finds

Friday Finds is a meme hosted by Mizb at Should be Reading.

So here are my book finds for this Friday (4 June):

i)Sylvan Street-Debra Schupack:

What happens when 5 sets of suburban New York neighbours find a suitcase of cold cash? How do the tensions between benevolence and greed, duty and desire inform our every action and interaction? Read and find out.

ii) What Should I Do with the Rest of my Life ?- Bruce Frankl

True stories of finding success, passion and new meaning in the second phase of your life. Some really inspiring and uplifting stories.

iii) The Wildwater Walking Club-Claire Cook 

How do you turn a ‘golden handshake’ into a series of wonderful, touching and life altering adventures? Read this book and find out .

I would love to hear your comments, especially if you have read any of these books.

Fear of Making Decisions?

I have been dreaming of,  and planning a new project which I’ve had in mind for some years now. Finally the time has arrived  to start putting the ideas into action.  However, now the time has arrived of the actual “doing” part of the project, I have lost a little of my “mo-jo”. I’ve been so enthusiastic about this project for a few years now, but now that it is all systems go, I seem to be debilitated into non-action. 

Why?

I  think it’s the fear of making the wrong decision. While the idea is  a pipe-dream, it’s OK to fantasize. But once you start putting the pieces together we suddenly fear that the decisions we are making are not the “perfect” ones. The fear of making the wrong choices can be completely debilitating (as I am finding out!).

Having to do everything perfectly is paralyzing. If we have to know without a doubt that the decisions we are making are the perfect ones, we risk never making any choices at all.  We have to remember it’s OK to make mistakes. Mistakes are messengers, letting us know when we are getting closer and when we are moving further away from our destination. They are powerful guides. But the key is NOT to dwell on our mistakes. We become what we think about, so we need to choose to focus instead on all the things that are going correctly; all the things we are doing proactively, and positively moves towards our objectives.   

I would love to hear your thoughts. Do you find it difficult to make decisions, or do you jump in with both feet fearless?

Please leave a comment with your thoughts.

Waiting is a Trap!

I have a wonderful quote on my website that inspired me to write this short post.

It says " If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin"- (Ivan Turgenev)

How true is that?
Why are you waiting to be healthy, waiting to change careers, waiting to be happy, waiting to start a new business, waiting to clear up the relationships that are not working, waiting to fall in love etc etc?

We wait for out holiday (or the weekend to finish) before we start our diet, we wait for interest rates to go down, we wait because we think our friends/partners bad behaviour will change, we wait for the economy to get better. We are constantly waiting for something. And whilst we are "busy" waiting, life is moving ever faster.

Sometimes waiting is just an excuse to not do something. I have  a number of clients who list a multitude of reasons as to why they can't start their action plan, and it's usually because they are "waiting" for something. But after some digging and delving, we soon uncover that what they are  waiting for is irrelevant; it really won't stop them beginning their change NOW! It's a cover to hide behind to avoid taking action. 

What are you waiting for? Is it genuine or just a ruse to delay action?

Please leave your comments and share your thoughts.

Career Myth No. 5-“What’s the best thing for me to do?”

This is one of the most frequent questions asked by clients when considering a career change or a career move. It seems like a logical analysis, but don’t be fooled.
Do not ask yourself this question! It rarely leads you to the job or answers you are seeking. It will lead you to feeling overwhelmed with options, or feeling like you have to choose what’s practical over what seems to be impractical.

The question that will lead you to answers is simple (but not necessarily easy!) It is , “What do I really want to do?” This is a very different question to “what’s best?”

Career Myth No. 4-If you don’t like your job you are probably in the wrong career:

One way to tell if you are in the right career is whether or not you like your job. Now I know we ALL have bad days when we are stressed and we hate everybody and everything around us. I am not talking about those isolated days. I am talking about a constant feeling of dissatisfaction. This feeling is usually a sign that you need to re-examine your whole career choice. This is something I frequently hear from coaching clients who have decided to work with me. They know something isn’t right because they don’t like their jobs. In fact they usually hate their jobs. Their natural assumption is that their unhappiness is a consequence of a larger underlying issue...........their choice of career.

This is a clear case of false logic. Not liking your job might be telling you you’re in the wrong job. It doesn’t necessarily mean you are in the wrong career. Let's not forget they are two different things. You could just be working for the wrong person or the wrong company. It really takes a skillful approach to discern the source of your discontent, and it usually is very hard to do without the help of someone independent (sorry for the shameless plug for all Career Coaches)