Musings from a book-loving entrepreneur

Friday Finds

2010-06-18T04:05:00.000-07:00

Friday Finds is a meme hosted by Mizb at Should be Reading.

So here are my book finds for this Friday 18 June:

i)Understanding Jewellery-David Bennet

A I own an on-line jewellery boutique www.luxuria-jewellery.com

I am always interested in jewellery books. I came across this one this week, and really quite fancy it.

ii) One Amazing Thing-Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni:

What would you do if you were suddenly trapped with nine other people?
In "One Amazing Thing" nine people who were waiting for Visas in the Indian Embassy are caught together in an earthquake. How they react, what they think, and what they feel makes the theate for this drama.

iii) Every Last Cuckoo-Kate Maloy

I love stories about friendships and the coming together of lost souls, and this book seems to really fit the bill.

It’s about an elderley woman who loses her beloved husband in an accident. As way of coping with her grief she opens who home to various lost souls; together it seems they all help each other. This sounds like a wonderfully positive and uplifting book; just the kind of book I love.

I would love to hear your thoughts on my finds this week.

W W W Wednesdays!!

2010-06-16T00:22:00.000-07:00

WWW Wednesdays is is a meme hosted by Mizb at Should be Reading.

To play along, just answer the following three (3) questions…

· What are you currently reading?
* What did you recently finish reading?
* What do you think you’ll read next?

OK, here are my answers for this week:
i)Currently reading:
Tell Me No Secrets-Julie Corbin

A tense psychological thriller set against an instantly familiar domestic backdrop, that leaves you with the chilling feeling that this could happen to you. You won’t be able to put this down!!
I say no more!

ii) Recently finished:
One Day-David Nicholls

15^th July 1988 Emma and Dexter meet on the night of their graduation. Tomorrow they must go their separate ways. So where will they be on this one day next year? And the year after that? And every year that follows?
I loved this book and kept thinking about Emma and Dexter long after the last page. You are left with the hallucinatory feeling that they’ve become as well know to you as your closest friends. Quite an intoxicating read.

iii) What will I read next?
I’m really looking forward to reading “What Should I do With My Life now?” (I’m just waiting for it to arrive in the post)

I love stories of people re-inventing themselves, following their passion (usually against the odds) , and moreso in the second phase of their life.
Altho’ I am from the UK, I live in Spain where the mentality is that your life is over once you hit 40! Employers don’t give you a second glance if you are over 40, and the Spanish government has said that if you are 40 and unemployed, you might as well consider yourself retired from hereonin!!! How ridiculous is that? I find it infuriating and plan to give this book to all my Spanish friends (who read English!). Can’t wait to read this book.

Would love to hear your comments.

Words we can all live by!

2010-06-13T07:19:00.000-07:00

I saw this article some time ago and have been meaning to post here.
What an incredible man!
I think we all can learn something from him.

At the age of 97 years and 4 months, Shigeaki Hinohara is one of the world's longest-serving physicians and educators. Hinohara's magic touch is legendary: Since 1941 he has been healing patients at St. Luke's International Hospital in Tokyo and teaching at St. Luke's College of Nursing. After World War II, he envisioned a world-class hospital and college springing from the ruins of Tokyo; thanks to his pioneering spirit and business savvy, the doctor turned these institutions into the nation's top medical facility and nursing school. Today he serves as chairman of the board of trustees at both organizations. Always willing to try new things, he has published around 150 books since his 75th birthday, including one "Living Long, Living Good" that has sold more than 1.2 million copies. As the founder of the New Elderly Movement, Hinohara encourages others to live a long and happy life, a quest in which no role model is better than the doctor himself.

Energy comes from feeling good, not from eating well or sleeping a lot. We all remember how as children, when we were having fun, we often forgot to eat or sleep. I believe that we can keep that attitude as adults, too. It's best not to tire the body with too many rules such as lunchtime and bedtime.

All people who live long — regardless of nationality, race or gender — share one thing in common: None are overweight. For breakfast I drink coffee, a glass of milk and some orange juice with a tablespoon of olive oil in it. Olive oil is great for the arteries and keeps my skin healthy. Lunch is milk and a few cookies, or nothing when I am too busy to eat. I never get hungry because I focus on my work. Dinner is veggies, a bit of fish and rice, and, twice a week, 100 grams of lean meat.

Always plan ahead. My schedule book is already full until 2014, with lectures and my usual hospital work. In 2016 I'll have some fun, though: I plan to attend the Tokyo Olympics!

There is no need to ever retire, but if one must, it should be a lot later than 65. The current retirement age was set at 65 half a century ago, when the average life-expectancy in Japan was 68 years and only 125 Japanese were over 100 years old. Today, Japanese women live to be around 86 and men 80, and we have 36,000 centenarians in our country. In 20 years we will have about 50,000 people over the age of 100.

Share what you know. I give 150 lectures a year, some for 100 elementary-school children, others for 4,500 business people. I usually speak for 60 to 90 minutes, standing, to stay strong.

When a doctor recommends you take a test or have some surgery, ask whether the doctor would suggest that his or her spouse or children go through such a procedure. Contrary to popular belief, doctors can't cure everyone. So why cause unnecessary pain with surgery? I think music and animal therapy can help more than most doctors imagine.

To stay healthy, always take the stairs and carry your own stuff. I take two stairs at a time, to get my muscles moving.

My inspiration is Robert Browning's poem "Abt Vogler." My father used to read it to me. It encourages us to make big art, not small scribbles. It says to try to draw a circle so huge that there is no way we can finish it while we are alive. All we see is an arch; the rest is beyond our vision but it is there in the distance.

Pain is mysterious, and having fun is the best way to forget it. If a child has a toothache, and you start playing a game together, he or she immediately forgets the pain. Hospitals must cater to the basic need of patients: We all want to have fun. At St. Luke's we have music and animal therapies, and art classes.

Don't be crazy about amassing material things. Remember: You don't know when your number is up, and you can't take it with you to the next place.

Hospitals must be designed and prepared for major disasters, and they must accept every patient who appears at their doors. We designed St. Luke's so we can operate anywhere: in the basement, in the corridors, in the chapel. Most people thought I was crazy to prepare for a catastrophe, but on March 20, 1995, I was unfortunately proven right when members of the Aum Shinrikyu religious cult launched a terrorist attack in the Tokyo subway. We accepted 740 victims and in two hours figured out that it was sarin gas that had hit them. Sadly we lost one person, but we saved 739 lives.

Science alone can't cure or help people. Science lumps us all together, but illness is individual. Each person is unique, and diseases are connected to their hearts. To know the illness and help people, we need liberal and visual arts, not just medical ones.

Life is filled with incidents. On March 31, 1970, when I was 59 years old, I boarded the Yodogo, a flight from Tokyo to Fukuoka. It was a beautiful sunny morning, and as Mount Fuji came into sight, the plane was hijacked by the Japanese Communist League-Red Army Faction. I spent the next four days handcuffed to my seat in 40-degree heat. As a doctor, I looked at it all as an experiment and was amazed at how the body slowed down in a crisis.

Find a role model and aim to achieve even more than they could ever do. My father went to the United States in 1900 to study at Duke University in North Carolina. He was a pioneer and one of my heroes. Later I found a few more life guides, and when I am stuck, I ask myself how they would deal with the problem.

It's wonderful to live long. Until one is 60 years old, it is easy to work for one's family and to achieve one's goals. But in our later years, we should strive to contribute to society. Since the age of 65, I have worked as a volunteer. I still put in 18 hours seven days a week and love every minute of it.

Judit Kawaguchi

Friday Finds

2010-06-10T23:59:00.000-07:00

Friday Finds is a meme hosted by Mizb at Should be Reading.

So here are my book finds for this Friday 11 June:

i)The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks:

A fascinating and moving story of medicine and family, of how life is sustained in laboratories and in memory. Henrietta Lacks was a mother of five in Baltimore, a poor African American migrant from the tobacco farms of Virginia, who died from a cruelly aggressive cancer at the age of 30 in 1951. A sample of her cancerous tissue, taken without her knowledge or consent, as was the custom then, turned out to provide one of the holy grails of mid-century biology: human cells that could survive--even thrive--in the lab. Known as HeLa cells, their stunning potency gave scientists a building block for countless breakthroughs, beginning with the cure for polio. Meanwhile, Henrietta's family continued to live in poverty and frequently poor health, and their discovery decades later of her unknowing contribution--and her cells' strange survival.

(Extract from Amazon Editorial Review)

ii) Red Hood Road-Ayelet Walman

A dense story of irreparable loss that tracks two families when the bride and groom are killed in a freak car accident hours after their wedding.

iii) A Note From an Old Aquaintance:

A thought provoking read. What would you od if an old love from the past re-enters your life? As well as being a love story there is also mystery, action and intrigue thrown in also.

Hope you enjoy my finds and perhaps add them to your Wishlist!

What book changed your life?

2010-06-09T19:25:00.000-07:00

I am currently reading a fascinating book above (compiled by one of my favourite authors Jack Canfield) where 55 "well-known" people tell the story of the book that changed their life.
I then started thinking about the books that changed my life. I'm not sure if these books changed my life, but they certainly made an impact.

They were:

These are the books that really got me hooked on reading when I was a young girl. I remember my mum shouting for me every morning as I was late for school because I was engrossed in my Famous Five adventure!

Later, I think the non-fiction books that had a huge impact on me were:
i)

ii)

Both of these non-fiction books really changed my thinking.

And in the fiction category:

i) a book about the holocaust and it's impact on later generations of the same family

and

ii) a side to illegal immigration we never think about.A book that left me thinking about it days after I finished it.

I am sure there are many more books that really had an impact on me, but these are the ones that spring to mind .

What books had a lasting impact on you? I would love to hear.

11 Answers I know for sure.

2010-06-05T09:27:00.000-07:00

Here's a little meme I read in a magazine and have "borrowed". Do comment and leave your list.

1.What's the quickest legal route to joy?
Eating Ben and Jerry's (without guilt)

2. What makes you stop still?
Being in the presence of kindness and intelligence

3. What words do you live by?
If you have to choose between being right or being kind............choose being kind.

4. What's the hardest truth to tell?
My weight

5. What makes a person fearless?
Faith

6. What's left on your "To Do" list today?

Nothing; I micro-mange my life to within an inch of my life! I really need to ease up on this one

7. What do you ask yourself most often?
"Does my bum look big in this?" (Well what do you expect after question 1 ?!)

8. Favorite Quote?
"If you want to make God laugh, make a plan"-Kathy Cordova

9. What's the most daring thing you've done?
Upping sticks and moving to another country

10. ...and the most daring thing you wish you'd done?

Learnt to ride a horse

11. What are you an expert at?

Making lists.

Friday Finds

2010-06-04T00:01:00.000-07:00

Friday Finds is a meme hosted by Mizb at Should be Reading.

So here are my book finds for this Friday (4 June):

i)Sylvan Street-Debra Schupack:

What happens when 5 sets of suburban New York neighbours find a suitcase of cold cash? How do the tensions between benevolence and greed, duty and desire inform our every action and interaction? Read and find out.

ii) What Should I Do with the Rest of my Life ?- Bruce Frankl

True stories of finding success, passion and new meaning in the second phase of your life. Some really inspiring and uplifting stories.

iii) The Wildwater Walking Club-Claire Cook

How do you turn a ‘golden handshake’ into a series of wonderful, touching and life altering adventures? Read this book and find out .

I would love to hear your comments, especially if you have read any of these books.

Monday Morning Inspiration!

2010-05-31T02:10:00.003-07:00

If you think you are beaten, you are;

If you think you dare not, you don’t;

If you want to win but think you can’t;

It’s almost a cinch you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose you’re lost;

For out of the world we find.

Success begins with a fellow’s will;

It’s all in a state of mind.

For many a race is lost;

Ere even a step run.

And many a coward fails;

Ere even their work is begun.

Think BIG and your dreams will grow;

Think small and you’ll fall behind;

Think that you can and you will;

It’s all in the state of the mind.

If you think you are outclassed you are;

You’ve got to think high to rise;

You’ve got be sure of yourself before;

You can even win a prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go;

To the stronger and faster man

But sooner or later the man who wins;

Is the person who think they can!

Author unknown

Friday Finds

2010-05-28T04:03:00.000-07:00

Friday Finds is a meme hosted by Mizb at Should be Reading.

So here are the books I have come across this week that have been added to my wishlist!

i) Mr Rosenblum’s List:Or Friendly Guidance for the Aspiring Englishman-Natasha Solomons.

ii) Perfection-Julie Metz

iii) Vision Board- Joyce Schwartz

iv) The Book of Human Skin-Michelle Lovric

I would love to hear your comments on my "mixed-bag" , so please do leave a comment.

My "Uplift-erature"

2010-05-23T03:02:00.000-07:00

Here are some of the books I would go to first when I need a "pick-me-up".

I would love to hear what books always put a smile back on your face.
Please do leave your suggestions.

Fear of Making Decisions?

2010-05-09T03:55:00.000-07:00

I have been dreaming of, and planning a new project which I’ve had in mind for some years now. Finally the time has arrived to start putting the ideas into action. However, now the time has arrived of the actual “doing” part of the project, I have lost a little of my “mo-jo”. I’ve been so enthusiastic about this project for a few years now, but now that it is all systems go, I seem to be debilitated into non-action.

Why?

I think it’s the fear of making the wrong decision. While the idea is a pipe-dream, it’s OK to fantasize. But once you start putting the pieces together we suddenly fear that the decisions we are making are not the “perfect” ones. The fear of making the wrong choices can be completely debilitating (as I am finding out!).

Having to do everything perfectly is paralyzing. If we have to know without a doubt that the decisions we are making are the perfect ones, we risk never making any choices at all. We have to remember it’s OK to make mistakes. Mistakes are messengers, letting us know when we are getting closer and when we are moving further away from our destination. They are powerful guides. But the key is NOT to dwell on our mistakes. We become what we think about, so we need to choose to focus instead on all the things that are going correctly; all the things we are doing proactively, and positively moves towards our objectives.

I would love to hear your thoughts. Do you find it difficult to make decisions, or do you jump in with both feet fearless?

Please leave a comment with your thoughts.

2010-05-05T08:13:00.001-07:00

Over at Should be Reading, MizB hosts WWW… WEDNESDAYS and asks readers to just answer the following 3 questions:

What are you currently reading?

What did you recently finish reading?

What do you think you’ll read next?

As an avid reader here's my choice for this week:

Currently re-reading:

‘Your life in Your Hands’ by Professor Jane Plant

I BEG every woman reading this blog to please read this book. It’s the book the medical and pharmaceutical industry don’t want you to know about. I have no affiliation with the author. But, I have been touched by cancer (I lost my mum to cancer when I was only 24 and she was only 49). I have given this book to all my close girlfriends and gifted this book to all my clients. Two friends who had cancer and who had each been told by the doctors they had months to live, are cancer free and healthy 5+ years later. Please love yourself enough to read this book.

Recently finished reading:

It's the first time I have rad this author, and don't really like romance books, but absolutely loved this book.

What do I think I will read next?

'Very Valentine'- byAdriana Trigiani, as I loved the first book I read of hers (above)

'What Everybody is Saying'-Joe Navarro

As a former Criminal Psychologist, how can I not want to read this!

I would love to hear your comments on my selections.

Happiness is.............

2010-05-01T05:49:00.000-07:00

.....................many things to many different people.

Here are some of my favourite tips and simple pleasures that always brighten up my world.

Tip1: Become and optimist.
Optimists are happier and more successful. In the face of set-backs they see the future as full of possibility. How? Imagine your best possible self 10 years from now. What are you doing? How are you feeling? Reflecting on dreams can help you think positively.

Tip 2: Focus on what’s going right.
This is a “biggie” and one of the principles of the law of attraction.Ever wondered why the law of attraction isn’t working for you? I’m sure you will find the principle reason is you are focusing on all that isn’t working and not what is going right. In tests 92% of depressed people who listed every day three things that went well, became happier with their symptoms halved in 15 days.

Tip 3: Try meditation.
Buddhist Matthieu Ricard is one of the world’s happiest people. He has spent much of the past 35 years meditating. Studies have shown that meditation causes huge activity in the brain area associated with happiness. A few hours of meditation can kick-start this process.

Tip 4: Perform Random Acts of Kindness.
According to various research happy people are more likely to volunteer, and the more they do, the happier they are. Acts of kindness are an easy way in; they give you perspective and counter feelings of alienation.

Here are some things that create those warm, fuzzy feelings of happiness within me (aside from the obvious of family and friends).

Films:
Grease
Little Miss Sunshine
Hairspray

TV:
Glee
Friends

Sights:
My luggage coming out first on the conveyor belt at the airport
The postman arriving with lots of packages

Guilty pleasures:
Ben and Jerry's ice-cream
Cashmere socks for slouching around in the house
New books
Homemade soup on a really cold day

Songs:
Lovely Day-Bill Withers
Dancing Queen- Abba
Don’t Stop me Now- Queen
Club Tropicana- Wham

Please leave a comment and let me know what makes you happy.

Waiting is a Trap!

2010-04-22T03:27:00.000-07:00

I have a wonderful quote on my website that inspired me to write this short post.

It says " If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin"- (Ivan Turgenev)

How true is that?
Why are you waiting to be healthy, waiting to change careers, waiting to be happy, waiting to start a new business, waiting to clear up the relationships that are not working, waiting to fall in love etc etc?

We wait for out holiday (or the weekend to finish) before we start our diet, we wait for interest rates to go down, we wait because we think our friends/partners bad behaviour will change, we wait for the economy to get better. We are constantly waiting for something. And whilst we are "busy" waiting, life is moving ever faster.

Sometimes waiting is just an excuse to not do something. I have a number of clients who list a multitude of reasons as to why they can't start their action plan, and it's usually because they are "waiting" for something. But after some digging and delving, we soon uncover that what they are waiting for is irrelevant; it really won't stop them beginning their change NOW! It's a cover to hide behind to avoid taking action.

What are you waiting for? Is it genuine or just a ruse to delay action?

Please leave your comments and share your thoughts.

WWW....Wednesdays

2010-04-22T00:42:00.000-07:00

Over at Should be Reading, MizB hosts WWW… WEDNESDAYS and asks readers to just answer the following 3 questions:

What are you currently reading?
What did you recently finish reading?
What do you think you’ll read next?

As an avid reader I follow a lot of blogs and came across this wonderful thread posted by MizB
OK, here are my answers:

1)Currently reading:
I am currently reading
This was recommended on another blog (can't remember which now), but really enjoying it.

Also reading

I always feel I should read a business book. I feel terribly guilty if I read a novel during the day.

And finally, re-reading

2) Recently finished:

This book is hauntingly beautiful and will stay with you long after you turn the final page. I couldn't stop thinking about it weeks after I finished it.And it still brings tears to my eyes now.

3)Planning to read next:

Just ordered One Day by David Nicholls, Seventh Heaven by Alice Hoffman and Spiritual Economics by Eric Butterworth.

That's my list.
Any recommendations or comments on the books I am planning to read next would be appreciated.

So What Breeds Corporate Loyalty?

2010-04-04T05:01:00.000-07:00

What I have found recently talking to many of the clients I have is their loyalty to a company seems to fall into distinct categories, and none of these categories are related to money!! How’s that for a shocking statement?

Talking to my clients, several themes seem to emerge:

Professional Development:
Employees who are given the opportunity to learn more skills and increase their skills set are much more likely to stick around. It seems to be the most important reason clients have given for staying with an organisation.

Coaching and Feedback:
Even top performers need to know how well (or not) they are doing, what’s working and what needs improvement. Smart managers understand that every employee wants to feel their contributions are being appreciated, and once this fails to happen employees start heading for the door (even surprisingly in this economic climate)

Positive work environment:
As we spend nearly 70% of our lives at work, this really is a biggie!
Whether you are on a factory floor, or have the much coveted “corner office”, ones environment and co-workers influence a big chunk of job satisfaction. It seems that apart from the work flowing, a little fun every now and then; birthday celebrations and the like, do a lot to keep morale up.

Good bosses:
Ooooh, this is a really subjective issue. But the fact is people don’t really leave their work, they leave their bosses (well I know I have in the past!). You just have to consider what happens when a popular boss leaves an organisation, there usually follows a mini-exodus. Even people who are happy with their job resign to follow their leader (irrespective of the money on offer).

So to close both this post and the previous post (which are connected), if you take a job merely for the salary, I’m willing to bet your job satisfaction will be on the lower end of the scale, and your frustration will be off the chart. But if it’s a job you love, chances are the rewards will follow.

Money isnt' Everything!

2010-04-01T08:03:00.000-07:00

Since this recent world recession I have been inundated with clients who want to change direction, have been made redundant and see this as an opportunity to follow their passion, or those who are just being squeezed so tightly in their current positions that they know they have to jump ship sooner or later.

One thing I have noticed with all my clients is that those who didn’t have control over their destiny and unfortunately lost their jobs are actually really eager to get back to work. They are desperate to prove their worth.

There are other clients who are secure “at the moment”, but are looking to move. They are grateful to be employed but are really keen to find new challenges or to use their abilities elsewhere. These clients keep plugging away until something comes along; they have their antennae up ALL the time!

But one common theme I have noticed with all my recent clients is that it’s not just about the money.

Naturally we all work to pay our bills and hopefully have a little left over to play with. However, this recession has made many re-evaluate their requirements in taking a new job, and perhaps number one on the list is job satisfaction. At a time when people can’t be as picky as they might like to be, doing what you love and what you are good at still seems to trump a bigger paycheck. How surprising is that?

This theme along with what breeds loyalty to a company will be in my next posting-stay tuned!!!

A Creed to Live By (by Nancy Simms)

2010-03-21T06:14:00.000-07:00

Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself to others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.

Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.

Don’t let life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Don’t give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Don’t be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn to be brave.

Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give love. The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly;and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don’t dismiss your dreams. To be without dreams is to be without hope; to be without hope is to be without purpose.

Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you’ve been, but also where you are going. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savoured each step of the way.

Career Myth 6-Ignore your career dissatisfaction

2010-03-07T09:34:00.000-08:00

Oh my!!!! If only this really worked. It does work at first, but in the long run, trust me, it really doesn’t. When you initially start questioning your career, it’s easy to push aside the random thoughts and pretending they don’t really exist. You know what I mean, the “what if’s” and the long list of regrets. Over time these random thoughts become real nagging thoughts. You start to find yourself day-dreaming about your options. You start building a list of reasons to ignore your growing dissatisfaction i.e “I’m too old”, “I don’t want to take a pay cut”, “I don’t want to return to study” etc etc etc.

With clients who are going through the same thing I work on identifying and confronting the fears; finding out whether the fear is real or just an excuse not to do anything and stay in ones comfort zone. Sometimes the fear of change remains but with a different intensity and there grows a greater commitment to living the life the client really wants to live, than to feeling the fear.

So this is the last of my career myths post. I hope if you are at a cross-roads in your career at this moment, you would have found a myth you might have been hanging onto, that you now realise is not enabling you. Now you know that it is really just a myth, what are you waiting for? Go for it and make the change!

Career Myth No. 5-“What’s the best thing for me to do?”

2010-02-27T12:03:00.000-08:00

This is one of the most frequent questions asked by clients when considering a career change or a career move. It seems like a logical analysis, but don’t be fooled.
Do not ask yourself this question! It rarely leads you to the job or answers you are seeking. It will lead you to feeling overwhelmed with options, or feeling like you have to choose what’s practical over what seems to be impractical.

The question that will lead you to answers is simple (but not necessarily easy!) It is , “What do I really want to do?” This is a very different question to “what’s best?”

Career Myth No. 4-If you don’t like your job you are probably in the wrong career:

2010-02-20T08:31:00.000-08:00

One way to tell if you are in the right career is whether or not you like your job. Now I know we ALL have bad days when we are stressed and we hate everybody and everything around us. I am not talking about those isolated days. I am talking about a constant feeling of dissatisfaction. This feeling is usually a sign that you need to re-examine your whole career choice. This is something I frequently hear from coaching clients who have decided to work with me. They know something isn’t right because they don’t like their jobs. In fact they usually hate their jobs. Their natural assumption is that their unhappiness is a consequence of a larger underlying issue...........their choice of career.

This is a clear case of false logic. Not liking your job might be telling you you’re in the wrong job. It doesn’t necessarily mean you are in the wrong career. Let's not forget they are two different things. You could just be working for the wrong person or the wrong company. It really takes a skillful approach to discern the source of your discontent, and it usually is very hard to do without the help of someone independent (sorry for the shameless plug for all Career Coaches)

Career Myth 3 - Always have a back-up plan:

2010-02-16T01:51:00.000-08:00

OK, here goes. Another career myth for you; a further myth that stops people living the life they really want to live.

Sometimes having a back-up plan is a smart and prudent course of action. They seem smart and grown-up and responsible. But what happens when you’re standing with one foot in and one foot out? In my experience, we usually close the door and retreat. We become reluctant to commit ourselves and then we end up denying ourselves what we really want. Even worst we end up with feelings of regret and those damn nagging questions of “what if?”. (These questions really kill me and I avoid them at all cost).

I think back-up plans diffuse our energy, and diffused energy diffuses results. Give all that you’ve got to your passion, your dream, your risk
and you’ve got a better chance of being successful.

Career Myth 2 - changing careers is risky!

2010-02-13T01:46:00.000-08:00

What’s riskier than leaving what you know to pursue the unknown? Changing careers means leaving behind a piece of your identity-your “I’m a lawyer” response to the dinner-party question, “what do you do?” It might also means admiting to yourself that you made a mistake with an initial career choice. Or it might mean acknowledging that you’re unsure of what’s next, and lets face it, smart people are always supposed to know what’s next, right?
Absolutely not!!!!
Successful career changers often don’t know or have a plan. Sometimes waiting until you actually have a plan can be riskier than just “sucking and see”.

I love this quote from Kathy Cordova’s books ‘Let Go, Let Miracles Happen’- “If you want to make God laugh, make a plan......”

Nothing, absolutely nothing is riskier than not changing careers if you’re longing to do so. Here’s why: The longing just will not go away no matter how hard you try and push it to the back of your mind. It will always be there, bubbling away under the surface, waiting for you to do something about it. And there is nothing worse than the thought years later of “I wonder if...........”

Career myths you need to bust!!!!

2009-09-08T10:55:00.000-07:00

There are usually two times during the year when we re-evaluate our careers/jobs. It’s usually just after our summer holidays when we return to the routine of work and bosses we hate, coupled with the summer blues. And, in the New Year when for the umpteenth time we say we are going to take a risk and follow our passion. I know that I made some of my biggest career decisions during these two periods during the year. To this day I can remember clearly when I made the decision to move to Spain. It was after a fabulous holiday in Spain, I was on the plane home to the UK feeling so sad to be leaving beautiful blue skies, wonderful food, a relaxed and safe way of life, and the kind of lifestyle I was just getting used to. It was early September, and as we touched down at Heathrow ariport in the early afternoon, the sky was black. The pilot advised us there were storms on the way, the traffic out of the airport car-park was grid-locked, the car-parking fee was exorbitant and the journey home took 2.5 hours instead of the usual 1.5 hours (because of road-works everywhere despite it being a Sunday!) I just remember saying to my husband, “Why are we doing this? Who says we have to live in the UK?” And so began our first foray into chasing our happiness and not our pensions.

Over the next few weeks, I am going to give you some career beliefs that need to busted once and for all as a way of helping you “chase your passion and not your pension!”

Career Myth 1: It’s a tough job/economy at the moment, so now is not the time to make changes.

Despite the newspapers and TV news constantly telling us that unemployment is at it’s highest and job grwoth is at a standstill, or that we will experience a slow economic recovery, not to mention down-sizing and outsourcing, don’t believe it.
It’s a myth because it doesn’t reflect the whole story. The fact is it is a different job market today. How we transition from job to job is different. Hiring practises have changed but NOT stopped. What makes it tougher is that we’ve been slower to change. We’ve held on to old practises and old behaviours. For example methods of networking have changed considerably in the last few years. It’s nearly all done on-line. That’s not to say the old ways don’t work anymore. They are just not as effective anymore. Despite being told we are in a recession you just have to glance at some of the top job sites on-line and you will see there are new jobs, in every sector, for just about every country and for every salary range, listed every day. I have also worked with countless clients that have made the jump and changed careers, gone back to University or started new businesses (and are exceedingly well) all during the recession we are living in at the moment. The problem is news programmes and newspapers thrive on instilling fear. My first piece advice is go on a “news/media” diet for a week, and just see how differently you will feel. Once you stop absorbing all the negative news that we are bombarded with, then you will start to feel in a better place to start making decisions. Let me tell you, I have not watched the news for over 1.5 years. It is banned in my house, and my husband and I are always being asked how we are always so positive and happy. I put it down to our “news diet”.

Live and Love Life!!!

2009-08-03T09:47:00.000-07:00

Many of you have been e.mailing me asking where I am.

I didn't realise it has been 2 months since I last posted; my sincere apologies to my followers.

What excuse can I give? I don't have one actually. I've just been enjoying the summer here in Spain. The heat does become unbearable at times, but I try and refrain from complaining, especially as I originate from rainy London! I have to be very careful when I speak to friends in the UK, as just mentioning how unbearably hot it is can be met with shouts of " you are so ungrateful", "you don't know how lucky you are", "it hasn't stopped raining here" (as my friend in Ireland said last night on the phone) ........etc etc

While thinking about what to write today, I suddenly noticed a wonderful poem/piece of writing that I have had stuck on my fridge for years. I don't know where I got it or even who wrote it, but I think it is a wonderful reminder of how life should be.

Here it is:

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person
that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down, probably will.

You will have your heart broken probably more than once,
and it’s harder every time.

You’ll break hearts too,
so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You’ll fight with your best friend.

You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You’ll cry because time is passing too fast,
and you’ll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much,
and love like you’ve never been hurt,
because every sixty seconds you spend upset
is a minute of happiness you will never get back.

Don’t be afraid that your life will end,
Be afraid that it will never begin!!!

What I learnt from Lola

2009-05-30T05:44:00.000-07:00

When I lived in the UK I had a beautiful little Shitsu called Lola.
Lola was an absolute “babe”. She could lift my spirits within minutes of being with her. She always could sense if I was sad or morose, and at times like this she would quietly come and park herself near me; it was her way of saying “I’m here for you”.

Lola and I would go for long walks, play, run around the garden, visit my Dad who lived up the road (she seemed to always sense when I was visiting him) and generally enjoyed our time together as only man and dog can. But one day Lola taught me a lesson that has come back to me many, many, times.

It happened one day when my husband and I had just returned from a business trip, and as always Lola made us feel so welcome with her wagging tail and little yelps and jumps (she only had little legs). She was so excited to see us she started running all over the place like a little demented thing. So her and I went for a walk in some open spaces. She carried on running around like a shitsu on acid ( just try and imagine this!)

After a while it was time for us to go back so I walked up to Lola to put her leash on her. The minute she saw me coming she bolted for it in the opposite direction. I ran after her, but the more I chased her the faster she went. And let me tell you those little legs have some power in them. I chased, and she continued to run faster. The more I chased the farther away she got. This kept on for about 10 minutes. All I kept thinking was how was I going to explain to my husband that I lost our baby; our baby who has tiny little legs and is no taller than a few inches high. Lola obviously thought this was a new game because every time I stopped running, she kept turning around and looking at me, as if to say “catch me if you can”.

Suddenly a new idea came to me. I turned around and started running away from Lola. Immediately she chased after ME, and came right up close so that I could put the leash on her.

So what did this teach me? Well, solutions to our problems are sometimes like Lola. The more we chase after solutions, the farther away they seem to be. The answers seem to run away from us. However, when we stop running and put the problem out of our minds, the answers start running toward us.

Don’t run after the answers to your problems. Just relax, become quiet and let the answers flow into your mind. The longest conversation we have is with ourselves from the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep.

Because we are busy talking to ourselves, the internal noise crowds out the very answers we’re seeking. It is in becoming still that we start to hear the answers to our problems; we start to recognize the still small voice of the universe.

It doesn’t matter what the problems are. It could be a matter of money, relationships or health. The same force that solves one problem could solve any of the others. All we have to do is stop running, get quiet and create an environment in our being where the solutions can come to us.

As Lola proved, desperately running after the solutions to your problems causes more resistance, and the very solutions you need will run away from you (it’s one of the principle rules of the Law of Attraction). Stop running, quiet your mind, stop thinking about the problem (this is really important!) and the solutions will come and find you. This really works. Try it!

The Most Beautiful Words

2009-05-09T12:29:00.000-07:00

Henry James said the most beautiful words in the English language were "summer afternoon".

Being British, and knowing that the reality of a summer afternoon are usually few and far between (that's why my least favourite word is "umbrella!"). When a summer afternoon does arrive, it really DOES feel like the most beautiful words in the English language.

What is your favourite word in the English language, and why?

2009-04-25T10:09:00.000-07:00

Last week some girlfriends and I were chatting together over a “liquid lunch” when one of my friends asked, “what animal would the people that know you say you are?”. Well at this point, I started to think about all the lovely creatures I “felt” I could be; a lovely butterfly, a peacock, a koala etc etc. After much ribbing and laughter between us, the friend that posed the initial question turned to me and said “Van, I think you are a rhino”! Well, you could have knocked me down with a feather. I was absolutely gob-smacked. This was one of my closest friends saying I reminded her of a rhino. Well, I know I had a few pounds to lose, but she was really pushing it now! However, before I could retaliate, (I think my friend noticed the ghastly shade of green I had turned), she explained herself very quickly. She said, “Van, you remind me of the horn of a rhino because that part boldly sticks out and precedes the body. The horn goes first; it is strong, courageous and relentless. It explores the unknown and dangerous; it removes all obstacles in it’s path so it can move freely and travel safely with greater speed. The horn confronts the problems it has in it’s path; it helps the rhino change direction and protect it from harm. The horn is the teacher and the body the follower. The horn gets scarred so that the body can remain safe”.

Suddenly I felt really happy at being described as a rhino (for the first time in my life I might add!). I wanted to jump up and hug her. What a wonderful description. I didn’t have time to think about the details, and the fact that now, following reflection, I think she was being over-generous. I just felt so pleased that her perception of me had been so strong. Make no mistake I am a real “girlie-girl”, but her description made me feel very powerful and strong.

When I got home I looked up some facts about the rhino, and also found out (by chance!) that when it breaks off part of it’s horn, it grows back as good as new. This I felt really sums up most women; the ability to start over when we have failed. For me this is the best part of being a rhino horn. It’s the part of us that plunges ahead into change even though we may be terrified. The part that feels the way forward in the dark. It’s the part of us that represents courage; courage to question, to be willing to hear answers we may not want to hear, courage to look within, courage to learn more about ourselves.

Suddenly I was really happy being a rhino and not a cuddly koala as I had initially hoped for.

What animal would your friends describe you as, and why?

Finding Joy (or cupcakes!)

2009-04-10T05:04:00.000-07:00

I really love this picture.

As a Life Coach one of my principle aims is to help clients find their joy (again!). It is always there, but sometimes with the challenges we go through during our every day lives, we lose that connection; we forget how to feel joyous. It doesn't have to be big things, or huge goals that bring you joy. It can be very simple things.

Here are some things that brought me joy today:

i) waking up and finding a beautiful blue sky and only the sound of birdsong.
ii) laughing with, and loving my husband
iii) making the continued decision to only watch TV, or read books that make me feel good
iv)the bliss of silence (away from the madding crowd)
v) connecting with friends (worldwide) via telephone, letter writing and some of my favourite forums
vi)decadent cheesecake, and eating it without feeling guilty.

What brought you joy today?

What Quote Best Sums You Up?

2009-04-08T10:00:00.000-07:00

"Some women have a weakness for shoes................I can go barefoot if necessary. I have a weakness for books" Oprah

I really LOVE this quote. If you ask my friends and family they are likely to say this quote best sums me up (altho' best don't ask my husband about the weakness for shoes which he might add is also a problem!). Needless to say I will do anything to get hold of a book I want to read ( and I mean anything!)

What quote best sums you up?

I'm Back!!!!!

2009-04-04T12:43:00.000-07:00

Dear friends
I can't believe I have been away from my blog for SOOOOOO long!

What happened? Despite the picture to the left, I have not been sunning myself on some deserted island. In fact I have been working my pretty little socks off! I am exhausted; sometimes finding myself in the surreal situation of coaching at 3am to accomodate clients the other side of the globe.

It's incredible to say but the recession has had an amazing effect on my coaching business, which in effect has left me little or no time to blog. Basically, the recession has proved to be a catalyst for people to re-assess their lives, and to think about what they really want to do. It's ironic really because it's also a time when most companies are looking to make cut-backs, and usually the first thing to go is training and coaching. However, in the world of personal coaching, this is not happening. I've had a whole heap of new clients who fall into distinct categories:

i) those who are completely stressed out at work and who are being pushed to the limits in their roles/positions.Consequently this has led them to realise just how much they hate what they are doing, and so have decided to invest in themselves now whilst they have the resources.

ii) those who have been made redundant and are using this time to really start following some of the ideas they used to doodle about when they were sitting at their desk on a cold, winter's Monday morning, contemplating yet another week in a job they absolutely detested (but which paid the bills).

iii) those that have suddenly realised that despite what their parents told them, there is no job for life, there is no such thing as a "safe" job, and that job security is not the be all and end all. Some of these clients quite like what they do, but have come to the realisation (through various events in their life) that life really is too short to keep counting the days to the next weekend or next holiday, and have decided to take the bull by the horns NOW and follow their bliss.

All I have been able to say to all my clients is "Bring it on!!!!" I am just thrilled to work with these clients who are really taking responsibility for their lives. It's really easy to sit back and say "It's impossible to make changes now as we are in a recession" (how many times have I heard that also?). But I say, now is perhaps one of the best times to take stock of what is working, and what is not working in your life, and start making those small changes that will not only recession-proof your life, but also get you through the tunnel into the light, quicker than most.

Do you fall into any of these categories.............I bet you do!

Who said anything about being perfect?

2007-10-21T08:37:00.000-07:00

Dear God

“Help me not to be a perfectionist (did I spell that correctly?)”
“Help me to relax about insignificant details, beginning tomorrow at 7:41:23 am”
“Help me to not try to run everything….but, if you need some help, please feel free to ask me…..”

Mmmm, sound like someone?

Where exactly have we got the message that we need to be perfect? Where was that written down, because I can’t for the life of me seem to remember ever seeing it anywhere. And yet, we all try to be perfect.

Well I don’t know about you, but I’ve decided to give up striving for perfection and have decided that EXCELLENCE is a better objective.

When we aim for perfection in everything, I think, we are unconsciously setting ourselves up for certain failure. After all there’s only ONE way to be perfect in any particulr endeavour and SO many ways (an infinite number of ways) to be less than perfect. For example:

*What does it take to ruin a perfect day? Just one little 15-seconds of unpleasantness

*What does it take to ruin the perfect “significant other?” Just one little annoying habit

But excellence takes into acount our “imperfections”.

Subsequently, it also becomes extremely liberating to stop demanding that everyone else be perfect too (and believe me THEY also feel liberated!)

I discovered that my own urge to be perfect was a need to CONTROL everything and everyone. But we don’t have to control the creative process. In fact, we can’t!!! We just have to get what we really do want clear in our minds and proceed from there, through the rest of the process. Now instead of thinking about being “better than” or “the best at…”, I just aim at being really good at what I am doing. It now feels right, and it gives me a LOT to reach for, because there’s definetely a “gap” there to relax into. But now, this objective doesn’t beat me over the head every time I make a little mistake….and it keeps me from beating other people over the head when they make mstiakes too!

Hmmm, maybe you would like to resign your position from the Perfection Police.
I mean think about. People who call themselves perfectionists are really IMperfectionists. They are always looking for what’s wrong, not what’s right.

So my prescription: Expect excellence from yourself in a way that motivates and inspires you, but don’t set yourself up to fail at being perfect every minute.

Try Smiling!!

2007-10-14T08:32:00.000-07:00

OK, so here's the deal.
Your level of self-esteem limits (or adds to) your ability to move through life with pizzazz, zest and confidence. It also determines your probability of attracting the sort of life-mate you desire, business or work success and almost every aspect of your life.

There are many ways to raise your slef-esteem, but one really simple way that you can try immediately is to get a smile on your face. You know, a really genuine smile; the kind that creates all crinkles around your eyes.Because a genuine smile actually lights up the natural optimism centre of the brain. And if you can (where appropriate) greet others with a smile, and look them straight in the eye as you do so.

Recent scientific research clearly established that just "acting" self-confident will MAKE you more self-confident. But here's the catch. You MUST believe in what you are doing and really feel it; not just go through the motions on automatic pilot.Consequently if you act as if you are the person you wish to be, guess what happens? You will eventually BECOME that person.

Don't believe me? Just "suck it and see"!!!!

Just try it-it works!!!.

2007-10-07T05:54:00.000-07:00

A few years ago when I was in dire need of some encouragement, positivity etc. You know, those downhill cycles where nothing is going right, and you feel completely at the end of your tether. I tried wracking my brains for ways that I could help myself, and then one day the perfect solution just fell into my lap. Now you may be one of these people who believes I was just lucky this solution fell into my lap. However, I am a great believer in the Universe and it’s synchronicity. So for me it really was like a message from “above” and I felt I must give this ago.

So what fell into my proverbial lap? It was a magazine article by Oprah talking about how for decades now she has been writing in a Gratitude Journal. Now, if there is one woman I really admire, then she is it. So how could I ignore this artcicle? What she wrote about seemed like a fantastic idea. Every night before she goes to bed, she writes down in a journal everything she is grateful for that day……nothing else. It is not a journal to write down your thoughts, the days events or fears and emotions. It’s simply only for gratitude.

So of course, I bought myself a really lush journal (because I feel if it looks and feels beautiful, I will want to write in it). And I started writing each night before going to bed, the things I was grateful for that day. I am ashamed to say that at the beginning, when I started this 3 years ago, I was struggling to fill one page. Why? Because I was looking for all the BIG things that happened, which is the totally wrong way to go about this exercise. However, over time I started to thank the Universe for very simple things such as fresh water every day, a beautiful sunset that I might have seen, a wonderful lunch out with my husband, listening to the sound of the waves crashing on the beach etc etc. It was only when I was writing about the simple things that I started to feel incredible; really uplifted and positive. Of course, when you are focusing all your energy on the positive things in your life, and not the negative as we are more prone to do, your positive energy and enthusiasm automatically increases, and then what happens? You start to attract more of the same happy and positive situations, which in turn creates more of the same happy and positive feelings……..(can you see where this is going?) The best thing is you constantly have to search for new things you are grateful for. You can only write down “family, health etc” for so many days.

So my friends try it. I defy anyone to not feel different after doing this exercise for as little as 1 week. I would also love to hear how your perception of “your” world started to change as your positive energy increased.

Happy journaling!!!!

My two new friends!

2007-10-07T04:53:00.000-07:00

I would just like to say a special "hi" to my two new friends who I have met through blogging; Jeanette and Holly.
Both of these writers have blogs all about the wonderful world of the Law of Attraction (LoA). There are lots and lots of blogs about this topic, but these have to be two of the best I have ever come across (and I have been interested in the LoA for years now).
Jeanette's blog-Law of Attraction Playground is the first I came across. As a LoA Coach she is clearly an expert in this area and yet her blogs are really down-to-earth and realistic. Some of her tips and advice for attracting/manifesting what we want in our lives has proved invaluable to me.

If on the other hand you find the whole concept of the LoA all a bit "woo-woo", then you have to read
Holly's blog- Holly's Law of Attraction Adventure . It is really quite hilarious, and really gives a comedic spin on what can be quite a difficult metaphysical topic. Her writings are hilarious and I think you will gain so much from both blogs.
That's the great things about blogs. I've made some many friends across the globe; people whose paths I would most probably never have crossed, and yet through the wonders of blogging we can share stories, ideas and friendships.
How fantastic is that!

Smell the flowers on your side of the path

2007-08-30T09:30:00.000-07:00

This is a really wonderful story…………

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.

Of course the perfect pot was proud of it’s accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of it’s own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what what it had been made to do. After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream.

“I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to the house”. The old woman smiled, “Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.”

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it’s the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You’ve just got to take each person for what they are and look at the good in them.

SO to all my “crack pot” friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!!!!

Rocky Balboa has it Sussed!!!!

2007-08-24T08:56:00.000-07:00

(before you think I’ve lost the plot,read on……….)

If you are in your 30’s-40’s (or even older) you most probably grew up with Rocky. Even if you had never watched any of his films most of us could identify the theme tune from the Rocky movies, and most of us laughed at the way he spoke (or mumbled).

When the first Rocky movie came out I was still a really young girl, and being a real “girlie girl” hating anything related to boxing, I remember watching the first film and being quite non-plussed by what I saw.

However, this week something changed all that.

My husband came home with the Rocky Anthology this week, and I suddenly lost the will to live. There was NO WAY I was going to sit through six Rocky films. However, my husband then said something that really sparked some curiosity in me. He said “it’s not about the boxing, it’s more than that”. So I grabbed my tub of Haagen Daaz Choc Chip (well I needed some incentive!) and settled down to watch them over a series of nights. Suddenly I saw everything with completely different eyes. My husband was right (again!).

As I watched the films I realised there was so much to learn from the stories. Firstly here we had a man from a less than privileged background, with very little formal education. However, he had something really potent; he had a vision and a dream. In each film he had a different goal/vision, and he worked, sweating blood and tears to achieve each goal he set himself. I watched as he was so nearly de-railed achieving each goal, and yet he just kept picking himself up (literally) and continuing. He didn’t let anything get in his way, even when his body was literally broken, he kept going. Now that’s vision!!! What really stood out for me the most was not only his determination and motivation but that he never lost his integrity. Despite constantly swimming amongst sharks and piranhas, he never became one. He achieved his goals by keeping his integrity and spiritual belief in tact.He always believed in his goals, but the love for his family always came first. That for me was what really resonated for me. How many people do we know who start off swimming with the sharks and then become one themselves. Their excuse is usually that they needed to change to survive. Rocky shows us that this is nonsense.

And what about his coach. For me the person who epitomised his coach wasn’t as you might expect his trainer, it was his wife. Yes, the famous Adrian! She was more (or as ) certain and focused on his goals than Rocky was himself at times. She always encouraged him to press on, learn from his set-backs and celebrated his victories with him. She encouraged him to be more, and to do more than he would sometimes ask of himself, and most importantly she was the first person in line waving the flag at the top of the mountain when he finally arrived there.

So take it from a “girlie-girl” albeit somewhat older, that this film is more than a film about boxing. If you are looking for some real down-to-earth, hardcore motivation/inspiration without too much spiritual woo-woo, then give these a try. Just watch them from a different perspective, and see if I’m right. I think there's a lot that can be learnt from these fine set of films.

Every Woman Should Have........

2007-08-20T09:01:00.000-07:00

A woman should have
one old love she can imagine going back to, and one who reminds her how far she has come.

A woman should have
enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own

even if she never wants to or needs to.

A woman should have
something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to
see her in an hour……..

A woman should have
a youth she is content to leave behind.

A woman should have
a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to retelling it in her old age.

A woman should have
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.

A woman should have
one friend who always makes her laugh and one who lets her cry.

A woman should have
a good piece of furniture not previoulsy owned by anyone else in her family.

A woman should have eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honoured.

A woman should have
a feeling of control over her destiny.

Every woman should know
how to fall in love without losing herself.

Every woman should know
how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and comfort a friend without ruining the friendship.

Every woman woman should know
when to try harder….and when to walk away.

Every woman should know
that she can’t change the length of her calves, the width of her hips or the nature of her parents.

Every woman should know
that her childhood may not have been perfect……but it’s over.

Every woman should know
what she would and wouldn’t do for love.

Every woman should know
how to live alone……even if she doesn’t like it.

Every woman should know
whom she can trust, whom she can’t,
and why she shouldn’t take it personally.

Every woman should know
where to go……..
be it to her best friends kitchen table…….
or a charming inn in the woods………..
when her soul needs soothing.

Every woman should know
What she can and can’t accomplish in a day…..
a month……and a year.

Maya Angelou

The Honey Bee Has it Sussed!!!!

2007-08-20T08:12:00.000-07:00

A question coaching clients often ask me is, "how do I find my purpose in life?" They get really tangled up and stressed trying to find out what their purpose is; what should they be really doing with their lives.A great and easy way I find to explain how we fit into the grand scheme of things is by using this fab quote by Peter H.Thomas

"If you asked a honey bee what it's purpose in life is, it would say it is to make honey for the colony. However, we know that a bee's life contributes a whole lot more to our world than just busily making honey. By doing its daily work, the honey bee in fact goes around and pollinates all the flowers and plants which results in new life for our planet. So just like in our lives, we may not realize what our big purpose in life is, by doing what we're passionate about, and by doing it well, with focus and determination, we may just affect a whole bigger purpose in our lives."

This sums it up totally for me!

How do you decide your purpose?

The 3 Reasons People Come Into Your Life

2007-07-24T05:54:00.000-07:00

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then without any wrong-doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring this relationship to an end. Sometimes the ending is created by death. Sometimes they just walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelieveable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Any thoughts?

Would anyone like a cookie?

2007-06-28T09:47:00.000-07:00

A young lady was waiting for her flight in the boarding area of a large airport.
As she would need to wait for many hours, she decided to buy a book to spend her time. She also bought a packet of cookies.

She sat down in an armchair, in the VIP room of the airport, to rest and read in peace.

Beside her chair where the packet of cookies lay, a man sat down in the next seat, opened his magazine and started reading.

When she took out her first cookie, the man took one also. She felt irritated, but said nothing. She just thought “What a nerve! If I was in the mood I would punch him for daring!”

For each cookie she took, the man took one too.
This was really starting to infuriate her, but she didn’t want to cause a scene.

When only one cookie remained, she thought “Ah……what will this abusive man do now?” Then the man, taking the last cookie, divided it into half and gave her one of the halves.

Ah! That was too much to bear!
She was much too angry now.
In a huff she took her book, her things and stormed to the boarding area of the airport.

When she sat down in her seat inside the plane, she looked into her bag to take her glasses, and to her surprise (or dismay?) her packet of cookies were there, untouched and unopened!

She felt so ashamed! She realized the error of her ways. She had forgotten that her cookies were in her purse.

The man had divided his cookies with her without feeling angry or bitter

…….while she had been very angry thinking that she was dividing her cookies with him. And now there was no chance to explain herself……..nor to apologise.

Remember, there are 4 things you can never recover:

The stone
…after the throw

The word
….after it is said!

The occasion
….after the loss!

The time
…after it’s gone!

You Lucky Devil!

2007-06-17T11:08:00.000-07:00

I would like to pose the question does luck play a part in business? If it does, is it possible to increase your luck?

How often have we heard entrepreneurs stand up and take complete credit for their success? Is it possible that there is always an element of chance in business, and therefore there is always an element of luck?It could be luck of timing, the luck of someone else’s mistake or a multitude of other so-called coincidences.

Or is luck nothing more than getting a return on all that intangible work you have put in? Perhaps luck is about ensuring that even the smallest stone does not go unturned.

Or perhaps luck is nothing more than a self-fulfilling prophecy? i.e. if you believe you are a lucky person or that you always get lucky breaks, it may well change your behaviour, your level of confidence and your psychology, which in turn may actually make you luckier. Therefore you seize opportunities that may once have appeared too risky. Whereas if you “ feel” unlucky you probably won’t seize the opportunities or pursue things.

I would like to believe it’s the latter; that believing in luck is a self-fulfilling prophecy and is about recognising opportunities when they arise. But it’s very possible I am wrong.

What’s your view on the part luck has played in your success?

Copyright © Vanessa Vinos/Vision Life Coaching-2007.

Sorry, what did you just say??

2007-06-06T08:17:00.000-07:00

One of the fundaments of coaching is being a good listener. It’s certainly not about speaking about all your own achievements and how far you’ve come as a coach . Instead it’s about REALLY listening to what your clients are saying i.e the equivalent of reading between the lines.

Here are some inspiring quotes about listening.
Which of these quotes really resonate with you?
What does one have to do to be a great listener?

“Much silence makes a powerful noise”-African Proverb

“Man who know little say much
Man who know much say little”- Unknown

“Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much”-Robert Greenleaf

“The opposite of talking is not listening. The opposite of talking is waiting”-Fran Lebowitz

“Listen or they tongue will keep thee deaf”-Native American

“There is no such thing as a worthless conversation, provided you know what to listen for. And questions are the breath of life for a conversation”- James Nathan Miller

“It is the province of knowledge to speak. And it is the privilege of wisdom to listen”- Oliver Wendell Holmes

“The first duty of love is to listen”-Paul Tillich

“You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time”-M.Scott Peck

“Well done is better than well said”-Unknown

“When you are arguing with a fool, make sure he isn’t doing the same thing”-Unknown

“Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery”- Dr Joyce Brothers

“Wisdom is the reward for a lifetime of listening….when you’d have preferred to talk”-D.J.Kaufman

“”The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust”- Josh Billings

(Source:http://heartquotes.net/Listening.html)

What I've learnt so far

2007-05-22T03:24:00.000-07:00

As I continue on my journey at the University of Life, there are some things that I have learned that keep coming up; lessons I can’t seem to avoid. Here are some of the things I have learnt so far:

· Stop trying to convince anyone of anything

· The Universe whispers to you first. Then it taps you on the shoulder. If you’re still not listening, it will punch you in the gut and drop you to your knees

· The worst lie you can tell yourself is “I will be happier when……….”

· If you don’t give with a true sense of joy, don’t bother giving

· Logic has it’s limits. People who worship logic all the time tend to suffer in their happiness and relationships

· You’re never as wrong as when you are sure you are right.

· It’s great to have an edge, but if you are too sharp you will cut the people around you.

· It’s not easy being grateful all the time. But it’s when you feel least thankful that you are most in need of what gratitude can give you.

· I’ve learned not to worry about what comes next (a really difficult one for me).

· For me the word “doubt” means don’t. Don’t move. Don’t answer. Don’t rush forward.

Copyright © of Vanessa Vinos/Vision Life Coaching 2007

Are You A Diva?

2007-05-08T03:06:00.000-07:00

The true meaning of the word “Diva” means a highly successful female singer. However, nowadays it seems the original meaning of the word has changed, and it now seems to conjure up completely different connotations; that of demanding, spoilt, rich, precocious women (with usually very little related to any kind of talent).

Recently when the famous mezzo-soprano Lorraine Hunt-Lieberson died she was spoken of as going “from triumph to triumph, yet never became a Diva, never lost her sense of purpose, or her sense of humour about herself”.

However, is there any shame in remembering the original meaning and connotations of the word diva; classy,style, glamourous, at the top of her game etc?

I thought that I would never want to be tagged as being a Diva or Prima Donna. That I definitely didn’t want to live 100% of my life centre stage. However there are times when we need to be centre-stage; times when we need to openly speak our mind and champion what we believe. Times when we need to step up to the bar.

Does this mean you are a Diva? If so, is there anything wrong with being a Diva?

For me it’s more important “how” we take centre-stage that matters; how we blow our own trumpets and how we treat those around us.
More than being remembered as a Diva I would prefer to be remembered as perhaps a selfless mentor/teacher, a life-long learner, an honorable partner and a graceful friend.

What about you? Would you like to be remembered as a Diva or in some other way?

Copyright© Vanessa Vinos and Vision Life Coaching.

Live and Love Life!!!!!

2007-05-06T04:28:00.000-07:00

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person
that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down, probably will.

You will have your heart broken probably more than once,
and it’s harder every time.

You’ll break hearts too,
so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You’ll fight with your best friend.

You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You’ll cry because time is passing too fast,
and you’ll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much,
and love like you’ve never been hurt,
because every sixty seconds you spend upset
is a minute of happiness you will never get back.

Don’t be afraid that your life will end,
Be afraid that it will never begin!!!

Can I Ask You One More Thing?

2007-04-25T21:46:00.000-07:00

Are you giving away your business and your knowledge without realizing it?
Do you find you are spending time with people who want to squeeze every last drop out of you, but don’t want to pay for your service?

If you are in any kind of service-related industry, I bet you are “giving away” your business. I know as a Life Coach I come across this all the time. You know the types of clients/people I’m talking about. For example:

“Can I ask you just one more question? (and the question goes on for 30 minutes!)

“Can you just quickly tell me ……?” (and they know full well the response will take a lot longer than 5 minutes).

So what do we do?

Well we need to shift our thinking and set some boundaries on just how much free information or free services we will give away.
No one expects to walk into a supermarket and walk out again with a trolley load of goodies! Well it’s the same thing.

So what can we say to people who i) ask outright for free information or ii) who just pin you down and you realise (usually too late) that they’re trying to “borrow” your valuable resources without becoming a client?

Some things you could say would be:
· "It’s not a good time for me to discuss this right now. Would you like to briefly discuss guidelines and fees?”
· “A complete answer to your query is going to take more than 5 minutes over the phone. Would you like me to send you a proposal on this?”
· “My charge for an intial consultation is X”.
· “There’s a lot I can do to help you. Would you like to get together and work on a marketing plan?”
· “Do you have a time-line and or/budget in mind for solving this problem?”
·“I have really enjoyed talking to you, and would like to help you more. May I send you one of my brochures and a rate card:?”

Of course there is another scenario where the above responses just would not suffice and that is when a friend pins you down at a social event such as a wedding, dinner party etc. What do you say then?
Well one stock phrase that always works for me is, " I would love to help you with X. So why don't you give me a call on Monday, when it's much quieter and we won't be disturbed, and we can discuss everything then". Nine times out of ten, come Monday your friend has either completely forgotten she had a problem, or because it takes more time and effort to call back your friend usually just doesn't bother.

There are many, many more ways (and perhaps better) of responding to these types of contacts. As a service business owner, part of what we offer clients, and what they value from us is our knowledge and expertise. It’s as much a part of our services as any tangible product, so we should be treating it as such. If we don’t value our service, then no-one else will. It’s not about being stingy or hoarding, it’s about holding back information that is deemed valuable enough that rightfully should be paid for.

Copyright 2007-Vanessa Vinos

Purple hats!

2007-04-25T19:51:00.000-07:00

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Belinda Emmet written after she found out she was dying from cancer.

*I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

*I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

*I would have talked less and listened more.

*I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

*I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

*I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

*I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

*I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

*I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

*I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life
*I would never have bought anything just because it was practical,wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Maybe we should all grab that purple hat earlier.

What would you do if you had your life over again up until this stage?

I would certainly:
*worry less and think less about things that don’t really matter
*learn to “stop and smell the roses".

What book...............?

2007-04-25T19:37:00.000-07:00

As an avid reader who devours books every month, I thought it would be nice to share some of my recommendations and hopefully add to some of your bookshelves. Also I am hoping that whoever responds to this blog will add to my book shelf.

OK, so here goes:

…….has had an impact on my life?
There are 3 different non-fiction books that have had a real impact on me.

i)TNT-The Power Within You- Claude Bristol
This is one of the most powerful books I have read regarding changing your own destiny and living the life you want. It was written decades ago (1954) but for me he is one of the original personal development experts, and certainly one of the best.

ii)Tuesdays with Morrie-Mitch Albom
This is a non-fictional story that reads like a wonderful tale. A story to remind you what really matters in life.

iii) Apples and Pears-Dr Marie Savard
This book should be compulsory reading for every woman. If nothing else it will shock you into action and possibly save your life!

……….gave me the reading bug?
It has to be Enid Blyton’s Famous Five series of books. I so wanted to be part of that gang. I would just escape completely into the stories.

………would I take to a desert island?
It would have to be something chunky and meaty. So for me it would be ‘The University of Success’ by Og Mandino
This amazing volume contains a complete course on how to succeed, taught by 50 renowned experts. Hopefully I would leave the island a more successful and inspired individual!

……………..left me cold?
As a Brit I am ashamed to say 'A Tale of Two Cities' by Charles Dickens. Perhaps because I was forced to study this at school.

……………..didn’t I finish?
The Da Vinci Code (much to the horror of my friends!).

……….am I reading now?
i)‘I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings’- Maya Angelou
The first volume of Maya’s autobiography. As a black woman in the 1930’s she has known discrimination and extreme poverty, but also hope and joy, achievement and celebration.
ii) ‘The Virtual Handshake’- David Teten & Scott Allen-
How to open doors and close deals on-line

How do YOU measure success?

2007-04-25T11:03:00.000-07:00

Quality of life is nowadays measured by the amount of money you make. Success is defined by the kind of car you drive; by the neighbourhood you live in and by the “toys” you own. After all, he who dies with the most toys wins. True or false?

In contrast, the people of the remote Himalayan country of Bhutan were recently rated as having the poorest quality of life of all bar one other country in the world….after all their average annual per capita income is only $500 (approx.€375) Ironically however, when you visit this country there are no beggars, only beautiful snow capped peaks, virgin forests, and clean air. The crime is relatively non-existant, no one is in a hurry, and there is a strong sense of community. Instead of depending on their belongings to entertain themselves, they’ve learned to enhance their lives by building relationships with each other.

So the moral of this little story? Be careful to avoid the trap of “ the more you buy, the more you need”. Often the more we think we need, the more unhappy we are with what we have. So next time before you hand over your credit card for that new pair of Jimmy Choo’s (I know you can hear them calling your name!) just stop and think. Will this bring me more happiness compared to perhaps a few hours shared with a loved one, or a donation to an organisation or just doing something small that will make a difference to someone? It’s your call. It’s how you measure it.

Copyright 2007-Vanessa Vinos